My name is Michele, and no, I don't know your mom.

2006-01-31T05:25:00.000-08:00

Here I am in your face
Tellin’ truths and not your old lies
Seems to me that you care
And I know that you’re runnin’ out of time
See ya can’t get away
I’ll be here forever and again
Whisperin’ in your ear
Do believe ’cause you know you cannot win

Spent most your life pretending not to be
The one you are but who you choose to be
Learned to survive in your fictitious world
Does what they think of you determine your worth
If special’s what you feel when you’re with them
Taken away, you feel less then again

That’s right

You gotta mean what you say
You gotta say what you mean
Tryin’ to please everyone
Sacrifice your own needs
Check in the mirror my friend
No lies will be told then
Pointin’ the finger again
You can’t blame nobody but you

There’s a feelin’ inside
No you cannot change it right away
Gotta make it try
And with time it’ll start to go away
I’ll be here when you need
That one to sit and cry to
’cause I’m the you you forgot
The only one you know you cannot lie to

Bitter you’ll be if you don’t change you ways
When you hate you, you hate everyone that day
Unleash this scared child that you’ve grown into
You cannot run for you can’t hide from you
Can’t hide from you

That’s right

You gotta mean what you say
You gotta say what you mean
Tryin’ to please everyone
Sacrifice your own needs
Check in the mirror my friend
No lies will be told then
Pointin’ the finger again
You can’t blame nobody but you

"You" - Janet Jackson

Consistency is lacking in human nature.

I need consistency. I don't think that it's the same kind of consistency other people seem to associate themselves with.

Most people find consistency in the physical realm. Consistency that exists within constant presence and unchanging circumstances. The same reason we all know people stay in long standing dead end relationships. There's a certain comfort in that consistency, and a laziness that fuels an unwillingness to change the situation at hand. Plus, in laymen's terms, it's easier to just stick with that same person you've known for so long, rather than bother to get out there and get to know someone else all over again.

Lame.

I look for consistency of character. Someone who means what they say, and says what they mean. I want someone who treats me the same no matter who we're around, and someone who stays strong in their convictions. Not to say that he/she should be uncompromising, but know what he/she wants and how to acheive it. This would be my problem in finding people to share my life with.

I don't trust the inconsistent. If you say your friends with someone, hang out with them Sunday, come back Monday and trash talk the hell out of them, I don't want shit to do with you. Sure, a good friend can recognize your flaws, but advertisement is a whole other playing field. I'm kind of a personal sort. Most of the time, what I did last weekend, where I've been, where I'm going, and who I'm with, are all common knowledge generally. To me, those things are basic facts. I don't care who I tell that information too. It's all dry and mostly voiceless to me. But for someone to know what upsets me, what makes me cry, my insecurities emotionally and physically, and how I really feel sometimes, now THAT is important. Those are aspects of myself that can potentially be used against me, and key elements to me that most people will never ever see. And I'm fine with that. I'm not lamenting that point at all.

I'd rather be alone for the right reasons, than with someone for the wrong reasons.

And while I'm being cliche, good friends are hard to find.

I hate it when there is a difference between a person someone THINKS they are, and the person they really are. Too many people aren't cognizant of what/whom they really are. Suck. I think I'm pretty self aware. I also know my self-awareness sharpens with every year. I do know I've stayed mostly the same person I've always been. I have the consistency and conviction that I desire in others.

What plagues me at times is that to avoid more disappointment I have to learn to trust a person for whomever he/she is, and not trust them to be who I either want them to be or have known them to be. Fair enough, but if a person I'm trusting is inadequate with regards to their cognizance of their own mind... how am I supposed to know who they really are?

Damn human nature.

My mind is now tapped out from trying to process all of that, and dilligently type it out so I'm not the only one that does understand it.

-Me!
"Who knows where thoughts come from, they just appear"

2006-01-09T10:36:00.000-08:00

Someone brought up getting blood drawn this morning.

Anyway, I started thinking about my history with the timeless process of taking blood, and this was the product.

Remember when you were little and used to get your finger pricked? Diction is key here. That's the perfect verb for it! PRICKed. Note the root word. I sure did, and I sure felt it. When I was little, the doctor could have pumped me FULL of shots, and I'd have been fine, but bring that stupid needle to poke my finger... kill me now.

I had to watch.
That was the real secret. It still hurt, but same with shots. I have to watch the needle go in. I have to know when it's coming. Same thing now when getting my blood drawn. I'm not real sure sometimes if it's a prerequisite or a pleasure. (I know, I'm not right in the head) Either way, I need to look.

**WARNING** Lame story ahead.

I was 14 the last time I went the pediatrician. Awesome. THAT alone makes this story lame. Either way, the lady comes in, I remember, she was short and heavy, she told me she wanted to take blood via the tip of my finger. She told me to pick the hand I am not affluent with, left, and use what she said her kids referred to as "the bad finger". Alright, so she's got my left hand, middle finger in the vice of her hand, and she says, "look away". OH NO, I'm intently staring, and I had already informed her I hate this process more than ANYTHING. She's like, "Psssshhhh, it's no big deal." As she hits it, the result is the loudest most audible "OW" I've ever let out in my life to this day. The nurse practically jumped away from me, it scared the pants off of her. My mom just sat there laughing. Typical.

Either way, I was thrilled when they finally started hitting up the vein in my arm for blood. I'll admit I might have felt a bit apprehensive my first time, but that dissipated within seconds of the practice itself taking place.

I figure, now that I'm a big girl, I can donate too. Why not? The "Blood Mobile" makes its usual yearly stop at LHN, and I'm thinking, "I hate first hour, I'm over 110 lbs, this is my chance!" Turns out this, "I'll do anything to get a day or so off school" attitude of mine came back to bite me in the ass more than just this once. But "Updating the Genetic Code" is a complete other story, and today we're talking about the drawing of blood. So as not to become too tangential? I'lll resume. Oh right, I signed up to give first hour. Smooth, that's Spanish class, and no me gusta Srta. I go down to the Auxillary Gym, and lie myself down on a table. The "nurse" took that HUGE metal piece and just jammed that sucker into my arm. Oh, I watched, and I can still replay it now. She was CALLOUS, but since I'm hardcore, I just threw down a wince, and took note of a friend of mine who was getting hers done at the same time. We decided it'd be sweet to see who could fill up her bag first. So everytime the nurse isn't looking, I start pumping my hand on the ball to make my blood pump faster into the bag. I won. However, I failed to realize the drawback I had created for myself... first hour wasn't over yet. So, I walk SLOWLY back over to the exit door. The nurses offer me some juice/cookies, the standard, and I said, yeah I think I'd like some, my head feels a bit... and OH MY GOSH, before I finished the word "dizzy", 3 nurses with the strength of 12 linebackers FLY over, shoving hands up under my armpits to carry me over to a cot behind a curtain. Mind you, I was only faking the whole dizzy feeling to miss class and eat a cookie. But by this time, the nurses are out of control. There are tons of people at the door, checking me out behind this curtain, lying on a cot, nurses pulling my knees up. I think I forgot to mention that I'm also BREATHING INTO A WHITE PAPER LUNCH BAG. I'm trying my hardest to stifle back my own laughter while my friends waiting to donate think I've passed out or SOMETHING.

Don't fuck with the Blood Mobile nurses. They'll getcha everytime. ;)

farewell.

Me.

Seacrest OUT.

2006-01-03T08:13:00.000-08:00

So my sign in name is La Manzana. Pronounced like (LA mahn-zahna) Thank you, Espanol.

I love it when people say Man-zana, like a short A in the beginning, pronouncing the beginning like Man.

Does that make sense?

I don't even care. I just want to blog.

I JUST WANT TO BLOG.

Lol, easy there... ok, turning off the large text now.

I use a lot of spaces, right?

Alright, so my intention (see above) was to blog. I tried. It sucked. So, we have here, random thoughts.

I don't like blonde hair on black people.

I was forced by some challenging question this weekend to dig deep into what I believe in regards to mythicals creatures and the celestial realm. I say it like that, because mythical indicates not real, and the celestial realm has to be separated due to its existence. Yeah, but do demons cause depression? That's an interesting question. I don't see why not. Suicide=sin, MAYBE even an unforgiveable one, but is there even such a thing as that? I don't know. Just a thought.

My new favorite show is The Office, and I am definitely forcing everyone I know to watch it with me.

I like licking stamps. First few, I really don't mind the taste.

Same goes for envelopes.

I wonder if there will be drama tonight over my presence at the game, but then again, do I really care?

I'm kind of excited to be in Lansing for a bit.

I like Jason Bateman. He's funny.

I get so thrilled everytime they play "Mo' Money, Mo' Problems" on the radio.

I can rap all the words. That AND "Gangsta's Paradise".

When people ask if I'd be afraid to teach in an urban/ghetto school, I always like to say, "No, I've seen Dangerous Minds".

You think there is someone out there that is obsessed with that movie?

I'm not really into painkillers, but if I'm gonna take them, I want them to be hardcore and 3 at a time.

At work, when I get a cut that requires a band-aid, I like to just reach into the box without paying attention. It's a variety pack. :)

.... and I'm officially tired of this blog.
They weren't even GOOD random thoughts. ::shrug::

Blah.

2005-12-14T12:52:00.000-08:00

"Diamonds are a girl's best friend"

I hate to be predictable.

1. I am not materialistic. I'd much rather feel your companionship, love, understanding, and interest in me past any gift you could EVER give me.
2. My mom just gave me diamond earrings on white gold screwbacks for my graduation from college!!

I'm sorry, but they're effin gorgeous. Now that I've put them on, they will NEVER come off. It's funny because I'm given the opportunity to gush about them constantly at work. My mom informed all her co-workers about the gift in advance, so now that I'm here, they all want to know how I like them and how they look. AWESOME.

Today's date is December 14th. Christmas shopping done to date: None. I just got some money not long ago, I'll see what I can do. Need to do the normal budget thing and see what's up with Christmas lists circulating. I'm excited to spend money.

You know, my boss's boss just walked by and jokingly asked me if they were just paying me to "blog". Yet, he's never seen my blog open at work, that's too funny, cause at the time he asked, they really were.

Doesn't everyone know what UBS is?? A little something I like to call, "Ugly Fat Bitch" syndrome. This is when someone has been dealt a bad hand of cards in life, and because of this, they feel they have the right now to take it out on those around them.

Ex. I worked with a raunchy girl named Morgan. Morgan came from humble/trashy beginnings. She was homely, living on her own, dating a married man, possessed a long nappy braid down her back, and a cook at Denny's. I barely talked to Morgan, but she hated the shit out of me. She was actually younger than me, but noticing I was spoiled and lived in a bubble, she took it upon herself to be a bitch. AH, we've already found two ingredients. Ugly + Bitch. So, I'd be gregariously taking care of my tables, having a grand night at Denny's, and some drunken customers were innocently ask, "can we get, like, a larger portion of cheese fries?". I'd be like, "No, I'm sorry, see Morgan back there?? She's got ugly bitch syndrome." She'd never give large portions, cause she was ugly.

:)

You'll never really get the flippant tone of this blog unless you know me.

Me.
"Shark... swallow ye whole."

2005-12-01T18:26:00.000-08:00

I like waving at cops.

You know, tonight I threw on some techno and lit some candles/incense. I used to catch a lot of flack for trying to be romantic with myself through lighting candles at night. For me, candles CAN BE romantic, but in general, I like them mostly when I feel bothered, or just want to chill. I think this is due to the fact that I spent most of my adolescent life either single or just by myself in my room. Therefore, candles manifested themselves in my life, as a more relaxing tool. The only thing more relaxing for me than candles and music was locking myself in the bathroom.

Do you think the cops take the wave as suspicious?

I know that's a bit odd, and I know you're either thinking "aww, that's sad" or "what a freak". Truth be told, the bathroom was about the only place I could be alone that had a LOCK on the door. My bedroom never had a lock on it. Plus, something about lying on the cold hard floor in the dark just composed me. I always thought that if worse came to worse, I could just move in the bathroom. I figured I had all the necessary heath items plus a toilet and water! Sounded good to me sometimes. I guess every child needed their "secret place" that was personal, and mine, well it was the bathroom.

I like to try to do my best at "acting" natural when cops pass me.

Today has been a phenomenal day. This morning my play went terrific, and now, all I have to do on Tuesday/Thursday morning is show up and wait for my play to be performed. SWEET! Plus, I 4.0ed the most recent paper, as I did the last one. However, this recent one OUTDID the first paper... because the first paper I actually did get one point off, but it wasn't enough to knock me to a 3.5. ISS was just as fun as usual. I love Jill and Anatol. I couldn't EVER survive class without the two of them. I think I'd sleep.

I've been pulled over 3 times in Lansing for not having my lights on.

2005-11-13T20:06:00.000-08:00

I think it takes a woman real secure in her "femininity", so to speak, to write a blog on the "Man-ish" aspects she possesses. Therefore, here are preominant ones of my personality.

I don't like to sit down while I eat. I could walk around the kitchen, lean on the counter, whatever, during the WHOLE meal. Unless it's chinese, then the leaning principle is just null and void.

If I spill something, depending on where and what it is, I'm most likely to lick it up. Prime example: Eating ice cream the other day, I spilled a drop on my shirt... once the obligatory expletive was out of the way, I proceeded to pull the shirt towards my mouth. Within a SECOND the blot of ice cream was gone. Note: this only works on certain fabrics that aren't very absorbent, and kitchen tables.

I have no facial beauty regimen. That's right, I know males with more steps to taking care of their skin than I have. I wash my face with bar soap, and I use toothpaste to dry up the blemishes. Cavewoman, I know, but it really only stems from the fact that my skin is randomly oily enough to have such harsh cleansing methods.

I'm a shit talker. Apparently, this isn't exactly the most endearing quality on a "lady". Many a male has been put off by my shit talking skills. What can I say? It's part of the intimidation factor, however, I do realize that if you don't understand it, and ARE put off by it, then I don't want shit to do with you anyway. Everyone used to be jealous of my old roomie Jenn, cause the boys loved her. However, I realized that all those "boys" that flocked to her... psssh, I'd spit on them.

This is how masculine my best friend is.

Lonewolf5607: Dave Mustaine is really amazing
diosadeFuego: oh yeah?
Lonewolf5607: Yeah
diosadeFuego: you want to fuck him more than david arquette?
Lonewolf5607: ...yes
diosadeFuego: lol
Lonewolf5607: hottest guy ever was Brandon Lee
diosadeFuego: Ah
diosadeFuego: he was hot
Lonewolf5607: fuck yeah
diosadeFuego: not so much in the make up
diosadeFuego: lol
Lonewolf5607: His smile was so charming and charismatic too
diosadeFuego: You're such a queer
diosadeFuego: LMAO
diosadeFuego: but it's true
Lonewolf5607: I know ::shrug::

Awesome. I hope he gets a chance to read this, and send it to his friends!!

Haha, but really, I'm thinking tomorrow I'll delve into the wonderful world of "girly" aspects. Yeah.

See what I can do. Turns out lately I've been disappointed in the progression of this blog. However, I've been none the less disengaged in getting motivated to write in it. Am I being too self absorbed in my life in the present, to sit down, start some cognitive processes regarding it, and then write it all out? Whatev. Proposal rewrite due tomorrow. Need to seriously look into the American Feminist Revolution to have something to compare the Puerto Rican women's one to. Self absorption lately? Maybe not.

I'm OUT, like Steve at a Gay Pride rally!!!
Me.

2005-10-24T20:03:00.000-07:00

Randomness about me, just to fill the void in my life at this moment.

Currently watching: Willy Wonka

I watched the "House of Sand and Fog" earlier, not even the whole thing. Just maybe... the last hour or so. Cried like a little baby.

I cry easy at movies. Clearly demonstrated, as I posted already, when I watched "The Notebook". I bawled throughout the entire movie almost. Walked out of the room eyes all puffy, looking like I got beat in the face with a wet towel wrapped around a potato. This way it made a real difference when heartless little Deanie and Jenn told me that move didn't make them cry at all.

I'm an asshole at the bus stop. Is anyone else noticing the recurring theme that I tend to be an asshole a lot of places?? In any case, the bus stop. Generally around peak class times, let's say... 10:20s and 12:40, which I happen to both, the bus station is hoppin to put it mildly. Sometimes, it gets so filled at the Landings, Village, and Crossing Place, that once it gets to my building, The Club, not everyone gets on, or gets a seat. People that wait at the bus stop tend to stand behind whomever they arrived after. That's kind of nice, but I'm not here to make silent friends through respect with the people at the bus stop. I need to get to class. Therefore, if there are a lot of people crowded around the stop, I simply walk around the side and plant my ass in front of all of them. It's their own fault if they don't stand there themselves. Deal with it.

I wish Madonna would stop trying to put out albums.

I can't wait until summer 2007.

I'm terrified of my student teaching internship.

I say I "love" Chinese food, but I generally eat just Almond Boneless Chicken, which isn't even real Chinese food.

I think Kevin Bacon is SO cool, for no real reason. If I could get a lifesize cardboard cut out of him, it'd be so SaWeet!

I was a bitch in highschool, and I hated most all the other pay school kids.

I LOVE incense, the thick hand dipped stuff you get at head shops.

I want my kids to start learning a second language or two when they're born.

I'm CRAZY about crossword puzzles.

I don't really like them persay, well Dave Matthews I DO, but I really respect what DMB and Alicia Keyes do. So, I guess I respect and love DMB, but ONLY respect AK.

I saw Munkie from Korn throw up on stage.

I don't drink beer.

My favorite Daria character is not Trent, but rather "Sandy", the President of the Fashion Club.

I have not seen the last 10 cds I put in my changer in almost a year now.

I wear Chance perfume by Chanel.

I like scented garbage bags.

St Patty's before last, my old roommate and I were given 20 bucks each to make out across a table for less than a minute.

I am known as the "master forger" at the Insurance Agency.

I eat ketchup on my steak, and I LIKE IT.

I'm secretly happy with my big nose, and more discontented with the rest of my body than anyone knows.

I just won a free bar party, from a bar I have been to once in my life, and NOT in the last 2 months.

When I hang out with my Mexican friends, they call me "token white girl".

I think the word "gook" is about the funniest word I've ever heard in my whole life.

I've never really watched the end of La Bamba. It bothers me. I like to think it's just a nice little story about a chicano who revamps an old Mexican classic with what he feels his American rock n roll. In doing so, he appears on bandstand, gets his white girlfriend back, and buys his mom a house. That's it. And that plane with the Big Bopper and the other guy... never happened.

I like looking at myself in the mirror while I'm on the phone.

I'm still paying for cutting my hair back in December...

I am NOT into that "I play guitar and am a deep interpretive tortured musician who write poetry and lyrics" bullshit.

I don't understand how a song can have "ho" bleeped out, but not the N word. Btw, I will always refer to it as the N word. Lol, you might catch me sing it real quick, but I'll never ever on my own speak it. I'm white. Can't do it. Out of a white person's mouth it just has always meant hate.

This Christmas I'm SO getting paid to eat free steak again!!

When I with my cousins/brother is generally when I laugh so hard I'm about to cry.

I want to go back to visit Lake Misaukee for 4th of July so bad.

That's about it for now, kiddies.

Michele
"He's all surface"

2005-10-13T11:51:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to: Yellowcard - Ocean Avenue. Just FYI.

The last couple days I've been processing a splendid thought for a new blog about me. It's actually an aspect of myself I'd semi-forgotten. Although I suppose all aspects of me are present in everything I do daily, just my cognitivity of them ranges. As to not hold you in suspense any longer I will now reveal my topic of reflection.

"Michele's sarcasm is enough to make anyone feel inferior."

That's a direct quote from a dance team mom last year. Know what I call that? Power. I remember seeing the complaint on a printed out e-mail, and I took a pen, underlined that very sentence, made an arrow towards it, and wrote, "I'm awesome!"

"When I first met you Michele, I knew it was imperative to be on your good side immediatly."

Saw Nattipants last night. Haven't seen her in a SOLID year or so. She told me the above mentioned line about 6 months into us being friends.

These next quotes require a bit of background information first. I lived one year with Kelly, Julie, and Kate. Apparently, Kelly's friend Christy was supposed to come over and study or something with Kelly. I don't know this. All I do know is that Kel went to bed early, sick and this girl is knocking at our door talking about studying at 11:30 pm. I proceed to gently interrogate her on the matter. I believe phrases such as "She knows you're coming? Well, she went to bed early, and You're sure you arranged this with her in advance?" escape my lips. Eventually I give her a sigh of disdain accompanied by a head nod that means... proceed. She passes Kate in the kitchen, and unbeknownst to me at this time, Kate and Christy are like... mortal enemies. So, this doubles the girls uncomfortableness. About an hour later, Kel knocks on my door.

"What did you say to her?"

"I just wanted to make sure she wasn't randomly showing up to disturb your fever induced slumber."

"She asked me to walk her out in case she ran into you again."

Hahahahaha, fuckin loser. Within the next few months Christy eventually got up the balls to introduce herself to me rightfully, and admitting to me she was SO scared of me.

"You're tall, loud, beautiful, confident, and you take no shit Michele, that scares the hell out of most guys."

Bob Pacyga. Good man, the poor sucker who was pegged a "safe friend" in my life. I'm sure he always resented the position, but was too far sucked into being my friend, that he'd never try to improve his station without word from me first, and THAT was never happening.

Two girls once showed up at my door, thinking, if there wasn't a party there, they could at least ask for some directions. I wasn't having ANY of that. After refusing directions, the two "ladies" proceed to bang profusely on my door, screaming, calling me a bitch... yada yada. So I throw the door back open.

(In loud forceful tone)
"Excuse me, this is my apartment, my little piece of rented property you are on. I suggest you two bitches get the HELL out of my face because I will not HESITATE to beat the fuck out of both of your asses right now. Last time I checked, I did have the right to refuse directions to anyone I want."

I walk back into my apartment only to be greeted by two more strange girls in my face. Awesome, I'm sure it is clear by the expression ON my face that I'm none too pleased, before I even get to say ANYTHING, the two ladies throw their hands up in the air and start frantically yelling.

"We're friends of Kelly's, I'm her best friend, and this is my teammate, we do have a right to be here, please don't get upset with us because Kel isn't here."

Are you serious? Lol. Some girl's lameness is just flat out amusing.

I think right here is where the pee story should go... but I think I'll give THAT it's own blog. :)

Alright, and who has figured out the connection here?
Is it:

A. People are afraid of me.
B. I tend to intimidate people.
C. I'm confident and a bit loud, so I scare people.
D. All of the above.

If you picked D, you would be right. That's AWESOME. This is why I've never gotten into a PHYSICAL altercation with someone. Oh there are plenty a verbal altercation on any given night, but we never get past shit talking, because I'm good at what I do, and lucky for me. You know... I got into more altercations when I DIDNT drink, than I do now. Occassionally I'll throw out a line like, "I pop a lot of shit cause I can back it up" No I can't. That is a flat out lie, but people believe it because they're easily duped. Well ok, mainly GIRLS believe it. Guys I think can sense that I'd fall easy in a fight. Lol.

However, random intimidation seems to be working out for me.
I like it. I like me. In fact, I love me. ::shrug:: As far as everyone else, you either hate me or love, there is no inbetween.

Michele

2005-10-11T12:01:00.000-07:00

Here I am again, begging your indulgence again.

The ever flashing cursor, prompting me to write. It's quite daunting at times. The call to write, that's what it is. It's practically willing me with the force... sometimes I resent it.

When I was 9, I had a story published. It was some contest between all the middle schools in the area. Entitled "The Day We Became Famous" (never one for brevity) that sucker earned me a free luncheon in Grand Rapids to meet none other, than Joanna Cole. For those of you unfamiliar with children's literature, she wrote The Magic School Bus books. My father quickly talked me out of going. Ha.

Point?

I loved writing. Reading and writing in general, as often as possible. Kid leaving the library with books in a large bag or wagon? Me. It makes me sad I feel I have no creative writing outlet anymore. At this point, I blame college for squandering my time on mindless secondary critical literature on subject matters I'll never dive so in depthly again. Only recently have I realized the love I've lost. Only recently have I semi rekindled it and challenged myself more to write in this blog. Whose fault is that? Blogspot's fault. One small link in an AIM pro, and I was hooked. And to borrow a phrase, blogspot has my "unparalleled gratitude". This is why I keep this blog. Not to tell you what I did over the weekend, it's not even really indicative of how I feel about my life at this time, it's for me. Because I need a place to write what I want, when I want, and how I want.

Yay! ::Smiles::

Now that the thinking part is over... let's get to some random facts about me!

I am asshole pedestrian. This remark can only be supported best via example.

Example No. 1: I realize the power of numbers as well as the safety. I do not care if your light is green or that you have a green arrow, if six other people and I need to cross the street, you will wait. Feel free to honk in vain.

Example No. 2: I will cross the street at my own sweet little pace. If you want to try to pressure me by stomping on the gas while I'm passing through your lane... I will slow down.

Example No. 3: If you, the driver, has a stop sign, and I a crosswalk, as you stop I will MAKE SURE I cross. If you want to try to cut me off, be my guest. In fact, hit me, pay for my college tuition.

The kicker: It amuses even myself to hear the slew of obscenities escaping my mouth as I encounter an asshole pedestrian when driving.

**RANDOMNESS AHEAD**

When I was in highschool we had chapel everyday, mini-church to those who are unfamiliar with the protocol of religious pay schools. Anyway, there was always some kind of cheap ploy to keep us, the student body, interested in what was going on at chapel. I was a big advocate of leaning my elbows on my knees, resting my chin in my hands, and falling asleep right there. Sometimes Kimble and I would give eachother hand massages. Anyway, assemblies were even better than regular chapel... and thinking about this one makes me laugh OUT LOUD, literally, right now. This guy came in one afternoon, saying he was moved by the power of Jesus. He was extremely strong, and he demonstrated this from lifting some weights, and hahahaha, I can't stop laughing right now. Lmao, he proceeds to grab a phone book. His gimmick is he rips it in half. I'm still not sure how this actually applies to my Lord. In any case, lol, he's HUFFING and PUFFING like he's the big bad wolf, pulling, twisting, wrenching this phone book in his hands. Lol, and this point my amusement turns into sympathy, because I really think he's not going to be able to rip the damn thing in half. I'm sorry, this isn't funny at all... but it's really really amusing me. Large man... noticeably balding... wearing a singlet with shorts over it... turning RED in the face over this phone book. It's not silent though, oh no, not silent, there's some kind of gospel/motivational/rock music pumping in the background. Eventually he succeeds, whatever.

Lutheran Hell North is EXACTLY why I like that movie "Saved" with Mandy Moore so much.

Until next time...

Michele
"Showtime Synergy"

2005-09-29T11:49:00.000-07:00

The bus.

Today, my day was all about the bus. I'm riding to class. Since I didn't shower this moring, my outfit was comprised of these elements. John Deere cap, large hoop earrings, green cargo pants, Izzone t-shirt, and the largest black zip up Southpole hoodie ever. The hoodie was a must today. Despite sunny appearances, the wind is pretty freakin cold.

Anyway, I put my hood up* and just kind brooded in the back of the bus. Eventually I ran into Cristin Rishelle Mushong. I think she does not know how much her voice carries in public. Anyway, talked to her most of the way, then transferred onto the Holden bus, while she boarded for Hubbard. Holden bus is packed, but since I'm good with my elbows, I snagged a prime spot. I randomly make eye contact with the chick standing in front of me, then continue my silence and self alientation. This blonde chick taps me on the foot and says, "I can't figure out where I know you from." I said, I know if I met you before, I'd remember, because I remember everything. She's like, nope, I've seen you before. I said, what's your name, she said Janet, and she said, are you Michele? I said... yeah, and she's like, Michele with one L? Oh my... She's like, I've seen you in a picture with Steve. Steve Orzechowski?? Yeah. So she goes on talking about how she dated Steve's friend Shawn, and that she kind of has a thing for Steve. I said, oh, I'm sorry. Isn't that what a bff is supposed to do? In any case, she totally paused before she told me where she knew me from. Like she'd realized she secretly hated me or something, or knew something bad about me, and was trying to play it off on something else.... Interesting.

Ha, now THAT story was about 2 minutes of your life, YOU are not gonna get back.

I had another bus story, but I edited it out, because I didn't like the way it made me look.

Anyway, focusing on me here, I just finished a loaf of bread I bought last nigh at 8 pm. I also ran out of butter before the loaf, therefore, just minutes ago, you could find me scraping the inside of a country crock container with a piece of Italian bread. Wow, it was amazing!

I love Eastern European people. I understand that is my heritage, and I completely embrace it. If anyone hasn't heard the story of my last name, now is the time! My great grandparents came from Yugoslavia, something about my great grandma lying about her age, so he'd just marry her and bring her over. Their last name: Murtovarra. To Americanize, as was the "in" thing to do, they dropped the "varra". Murto it was, until my grandpa couldn't cash checks. Apparently, without seeing it first, there are many different interpretations of how to spell Murto. Mertoe, Murtoe, merto, anyway, I don't really know them all, because I've always known the way it was spelled. My grandparents made an executive decision at this point in time. They grabbed the yellow pages, and decided the two most becoming choices for our new last name were "mason" and "monroe". Obviously, they picked "Mason". Kick ass, I'm quite obsessd with my last name, it's no secret.

Ooh, good time tidbit, webbed feet run in my family. This was awesome with the last name Murto. Because they just called their feet the "mur-toes". HAHAHAHAHAHA. I've not seen them in the recent generations, however, it was rumored my Uncle Chris down in Georgia had them.

Ooh, the star next to put my hood up. *Ok, I don't know what other people think, but when I hear the phrase "put your hood up", I think of the KKK. That's it. They wear hoods. Makes sense, right? Steve told me I was racist, in fact, so did my friend Chris. I didn't mean it to say I associate the phrase with that because I believe in it or am a practicing underground member. Denise would always make jokes about "putting your hood up". I guess we're sick. ::shrug:: You know my dad once trick or treated in highschool as a klan member. NICE. I'm looking through old photos with my mom, at a clearly delicate age. Inquiring minds always want to know, so I'm flipping through, my Uncle is a cheerleader, and I get to my dad.. "MOM, WHAT IS DAD?" She paused, and thoughtfully responded, "Oh, I guess it wasn't quite as big of a deal back then." WHAT? Lol. Call me callous for laughing about it, but it's nothing that is even remotely part of my family's life. Just what I think of when I hear "put your hood up", because they wore hoods.

However, life is going swimmingly lately. It was nice to hear from Dom, Bailey, and Minda on Tuesday about me not being at practice. I love those girls.

This no practice thing only means there will be an increase of dancing around my room, running through old dances still in my head, and making up new ones, just for me. :) I did em best anyway.

In addition, I'd like to give a HUGE thank you to Harry Ho. Who totally saved me mentally the last day or two. Most of the time I don't really need advice/feedback unless asked for, but just someone to listen, or at least give the illusion that they are. I just need a way to get it out, but in a more meaningful way than just listening to me to hear my own voice. However, Mr. Ho has noticed this, and is gracious and benevolent enough to oblige me on most occassions.

One last point I'd like to end on. I associate smells with people. When I smell Steve, I know someone is wearing Coolwater. When I smell Matt, someone is wearing Nautica. Therefore, Hugo Boss is THEE scent for me. It's my favorite EVER. I used to take the free samples from the mall and leave them in my purse so it'd emanate this beautiful aroma everytime it opened. You can imagine this scent was quite fragile though, I didn't identify it with anyone specific yet, and I didn't want to ruin it with some jerk off I dated. Therefore, it came time for me to assign it on my own. My brother had no cologne. Now, what does he wear? You guessed it, one Christmas his sister bought him a huge bottle of Hugo Boss. Now I can only associate the best scent ever, with my genuinely kind and loving brother. :)

Take it easy, and if it's real easy, take it TWICE.

Michele
"Pimpin hoes and cockin a grip like my name was Dolemite"

2005-09-26T11:14:00.000-07:00

"Nothing good is ever written, it's always re-written." - Professor Windler

I find that quite profound. Howewer, it also exhausts me because I now envision myself writing, turning in, rewriting, and so on and so forth. I do foresee this semester going better than LAST semester's seminar. Need I remind everyone of the 1.0 tragedy??

The people in class get the wheels in my head turning. Some of them are so... deep. And while I do consider myself mildly creative, I think somewhere I lack critical thinking skills. Like, when someone talks about how the Rio Grande is the border between Mexico and the United States, then you get that crackpot in the front couple rows asking, "If you murdered someone in the center of the river, whose jurisdiction is that, or do you just get off?" Ok, while that question was a bit creepy, it had some real creative undertones. Who thinks of those kind of implications? Sometimes, I lack those implicational questions. Sometimes I miss obvious connections and symbols. I do, however, consider myself an expert at ::snaps fingers into guns:: Nam-e-ology.

No really, sometimes I think maybe there is something I should be so passionate about. Like peace marches, protests, and rallies. Then again, I told myself today, in the same way, there is something I am passionate about. Me. I don't want to waste my energy on some worldly issue. I think the most I can do is make my life the way I want it. It's like MJ told us, "If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change." Ha, I'm so lame, it's pretty awesome. But seriously, I just want to better my own life while I'm here. I know it's kind of selfish and bullshit not to think about humanity and the greater good on the whole, but who says I'm not already bettering it by just shutting my mouth and making my own circumstances what I want them to be?

I don't know, but lately I'm quite obsessed with the energy idea. To be honest I read it in a People magazine. To protect the innocent, me, in this case, I won't reveal exactly whom it came from. I'm so stuck on it though. The fact that I only have so much energy in life, and it really is a huge personal pick and choose as to what I want to use/waste it on. It's odd... I've been getting down to the nitty gritty lately. I'm concerned with wasting my energy, and I've been cut throat as far as who I've been letting in my life.

At any other point in my life, with so many guys wanting to date me, I'd seriously be making out with all of them. Not to sound bad or anything, I just never really seemed to mind going out. I was always really really giving of myself. I've never had a lot of money or anything of real value to give someone, so I've always been more giving of my time. Then I hit college, then I became really selfish with my time. However, lately I've slowly been coming back from that, but I'm definitely more selective. I'm glad I never had a serious gaggle of friends I always stuck with. I want only the closest and best, and I like being that way. I'm thankful for the people I have let in, and will continue to keep doing so based on my quintessential instinct skills. In the meantime, I'm super thankful for family. They made this weekend. Distracting me from the pain of certain things crashing around me.

I have tried my ass off lately to focus on positive. And thanks in large part to the other people in my life, it's been possible. There are certain things at this point, I can't do anything about, and I'm just letting them go.

You know, funk is the root of all music. I think it's bullshit when people say they don't like funk. My ass you don't, it's pretty much in EVERYTHING we listen to now.

This weekend was not a Cancer walk, but rather a Diabetes walk, considering how the disease has ravaged my Grandpa, my Aunt decided it was a nice idea. :)

Currently my top wisdom tooth is coming in. This severly limits the opening/closing of my mouth.

I specifically picked out the movie "Less Than Zero" for two dollars at a pawn shop in Florida.

I sang karaoke this weekend to "Believe" by Cher, and another personal favorite, "Red, Red Wine".

I feel really calm today. The only thing remotely stressing me out is the prospect of seeing the old roommates tonight. However, no one has been able to contact me because my phone is off. Life's a bitch man.

I like the taste of blood. I have zero problem sucking on a cut. ::shrug:: it's just a bit iron-y.

It makes me a bit insecure when people accuse me of being insecure. Sometimes I just don't know if they're right or not. And if they are, then I feel insecure about being insecure. I really don't think I am, I'm just trying to keep myself rational and realistic.

Demons and ghosts scare the FUCK out of me. I'm such a pansy when it comes to shit like that. It's sad, really.

Good thing about egotistical people, they don't generally talk about anyone else, whether it's bad or good.

::shrug:: Nothing too exciting has been happening. Life is kind of at a slight stand still. I don't mind it though. I'm quite patient lately.

I promise next time I'll have something of value to say.

Michele
"...and knowing is half the battle"

2005-09-22T21:08:00.000-07:00

Anxious.

A mixture of good and bad I think that is.

Yeah. I'm starting a new self evaluation of late. I've come to some real serious conclusions about the way I am, and the way I want to be. The two are conflicting as of late. I'm not sure what to do. Is it possible for to change what I want? Naive Michele generally thinks "Of course it is", but sometimes it really isn't true.

I hate it that sometimes what I'm scared of most in life is myself.

OMG, EARMUFFS!!!

Blasphemy!! That's not what I meant this blog for. CELEBRATION Michele, CELEBRATION of self. Kool and the Gang, Celebrate good times COME ON.

I found a frog tonight in the rain.

Amanda was over for a little bit, that was nice. She's driving me in the morning... even nicer.

Don't feel like celebrating much, just needed to get the above subject off real quick, so I remember to come back to it later.

Michele
"I named the rana, Louis the XIV"

2005-09-21T11:25:00.000-07:00

Two posts in one day?? Is this possible??

Turns out I got real pensive during class.

A friend of mine just had his third child on Saturday. This would be his third child, from his third baby's mama. He's not together with this one either. In any case, she's a NUT. However, this is the only child he's been present for its birth. He's your typical masculine thug. Doesn't like to show emotion, and even though he feels safe showing it around me, he'll still spout off and get mad, generally hit something for even crying in front of me. Apparently it's a weakness thing. I get it, but I don't. I don't really understand some people's amassed anger inside. In any case, he told me started crying immeditaly on the baby's birth. It looks just like him, blah blah blah.

Now for the me part.

I can't even IMAGINE going through that with just "someone". When I have my own child, I want my husband to pretty much crawl in that bed beside me. I can only imagine, in the midst of something so beautiful as having a child, feeling complete and utter lonliness at the thought of having no one special to share it with.

On a happy note. My mom bought me a HUGE bag of starburst AND skittles for my birthday. :):) And anyone who even remotely knows me, or has spent more than an hour with me, knows I am completely addicted to sugar. It's true. I get withdrawals without it. In highschool, I was upt to about 3 packs a day, starburst that is. I also once kept a 3 pound bag in the top shelf of my locker for inbetween classes. Then, I decided to give them up for lent. Which is quite the conundrum if you follow, cause I'm not Catholic, and I don't need to give shit up for lent. However, it seemed like fun at the time. And it was so hard... but I'd almost completely weened myself off the starburst. Psshhh... right... but let me let you in on what my FAVORITE thing to do with starbursts is~ I like to take a yellow and a pink, I bite off half of the pink, and half of the yellow, and eat those... mmm... then I take the two remaining halves, squish them to together, and eat those!! YESSS. I actually now feel awkward eating one without the other.

Update:: My car has no E-brake. Awesome.

Also learned a new cooking lesson today. Made some noodle soup, cause Lord knows I don't like any vegetables in soup. Just simple, boil the water, add packet. Wait 5 minutes. Sweet, right? HA, from the woman who made instant pudding wrong TWICE and lit microwave popcorn on fire once, I also first off... left the water boil away while I was chatting online. Intelligence, so I then had to add water, before I proceeded. I made the packet, stirred it in, and waited. It finished perfect, had a bowl, but left some in the bowl. I think a great idea is to still leave it on a small simmer to keep it warm for myself. Apparently I'm not very well versed in what "simmer" heat exactly is. I get back to the soup, and ALL THE WATER IS EVAPORATED completely, and it's just a pile of noodles and thickened flavoring coating the tops of the noodles. Hahahaha, NO MORE SOUP FOR ME.

Michele
"I'd probably be famous now, if I wasn't such a good waitress."

2005-09-21T06:51:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to me!!
Hell yeah for birthday cake and breadsticks for breakfast!!!

Well... I guess I'm a bit late on that. A day to be exact. It's ok though, I'll let myself get away with it this time. Besides, who really has the time to blog when they're Princess for a day?? Ha, if "Princess for a day" secretly translates into "skipping class to nurse a hangover, getting my period, then practice, than going to dinner, but finding glass in my food, and cutting cake with the roomies, hot tubbin for a few, and then accidentally falling asleep at 12 to wake up at 4".

Yeah, that was the sum of my day. The glass in the food thing was pretty awesome though. As soon as I saw it, my eyes just FLASHED free food. I know how that shit works. I actually got a $20 gift card out of the mess. Kick ass. Friends beware though, I'm a magnet for food screw ups. They cook my shit wrong ALL THE TIME, but I do get free food. For a broke ass like me, that's awesome.

So Monday night was my birthday celebration at the bar. Boy did I celebrate GOOD. ALMOST threw up... apparently Ruby did throw up. In any case, I learned that night, that my general make up is what Lydia refers to as... "heroin chic". This means you like eye make up, but bare lips. I started this because I like to kiss. I figured lipstick decreases my chances of a make out. Don't think I'm a skank, it truly evolved while I had a boyfriend. I just didn't want to have to wipe anything off, and I knew I'd want to kiss him right away. This was in like... highschool. However, I like my heroin chic, DAMNIT. Monday was another story. I elected to go as a Punk Rock Princess, kitty collar and all. Therefore, I wore some lipstick. Plus, there is NO WAY I wanted to make out with anyone.

Great transition to my next point. I don't want to make out anymore. The idea of guys all liking me and trying to touch me and talk to me all the time, is SO annoying. Ah, ever had a mosquito that wouldn't stop flying around your head? I feel like that, times about 6, and the idea of them trying to kiss me, is like the mosquito bite. ::shrug:: HOWEVER, last night after telling someone I did NOT want to be anything remotely dating/making out with him, I was told that it was "My Loss." HA, my ass it is. To stop myself from laughing, I merely typed out, "You know I don't think that". I'm sure that sounds harsh too. Ah well.

I was also praised for my honesty last night, by an old friend. AND BOY did he get an earful of honesty Monday night. I made an ass of myself. Sometimes, I like too though. I think everyone needs to from time to time, and mine was done, I believe, with the appropriate people. Monday night's asininity revolved around *smacks forehead and looks down, shaking head* me spouting off too many feelings about EVERYTHING. Borderline crazy-like. ::shrug:: There are people I feel strongly about, but not so good about sometimes. You know what I mean? Like, they weren't right, or I wasn't supposed to like them? Which is funny, cause a lot of my "ex" best friends came from people I couldn't stand to begin with, but being the sweetheart I am, I give them another chance. THEN it ends in ruin. Get it now?

In addition, I'm a bit anxious about school. I'm also a bit anxious about my car. I am now officially braking ONLY with the E brake. Sweet. Too bad, dumb shit here didn't remember that I had an E brake when the brakes gave out yesterday. I coasted off the expressway, and to my dismay realized that my car wasn't stopping at all. That the brakes were pushed all the way down, and instead of that awesome rubbing noise, followed by the grinding and shaking wasn't there. They were just weren't working. OMG. I was all breathing heavy and shit, just swerving around trying not to hit people, praying lights turned green as I came to them. HAHAHAHA, but my genuis ass decided the only way I could stop was to turn the car off, let it coast a bit slowly, then throw her in park. Oh, Curtis Jackson... you are now the bane of my existence. Ah well, Thursday the brakes are getting fixed.

Truths of the past few days.

I'm not a sorority girl. Just cause SoHos and ME happen to have the same Tiffany's necklace doesn't mean we have ANYTHING else in common. I don't make a habit of PAYING for my friends.

I don't much like to be touched on the dance floor, unless the guy makes a nice attempt to keep up and match basic patterns.

I like Michael Jackson, and I really don't think he's a child molester.

I cried during "Free Willy".

I bawled my eyes out profusely during "The Notebook", to the point where my face was red and puffy. Talk about issues!

My leasing office returned security deposits saying that my roommates and I now OWE them 400 some odd dollars for damages. Awesome. Just what I need on top of that electric bill.

I'm generally a completely LOW stress person, right? I don't let a lot of shit bother me, ever. However, I never get as tense as when I'm dealing with all my old roommates.

I get nervous pee before a performance.

My family has forced me to drink some a sippy cup at the age of 18... and nicknamed me "Spills".

I don't think I've ever thought my lava lamp is as cool as other people do.

If I were stranded on a desert island and could only listen to 5 songs for the rest of my life, they would be:
Time of Your Life - Green Day
Saturday in the Park - Chicago
Hypnotize - Notorious B.I.G.
You Rock My World - Michael Jackson
Crash - Dave Matthews Band

Not so sure about the Michael Jackson song... The other ones are definite.

Anyway, that's about it, I might even write more once I'm out of class. We'll see how much cognitive process goes on DURING class. I should be thinking about the legitimization of bastards in colonial Spanish society. Key word: SHOULD.

Michele
"...what I'm all about, how I make a Sprite can disappear in my mouth.."

Ha, contrary to popular belief, I really do have a small mouth. That's why, whenever Bryan sets the table, he remember to put a small spoon at my place setting specifically, "for Michele's small mouth". LOL

2005-09-19T15:50:00.000-07:00

By request.

It's true, I will do a blog by request, but if you're not good enough, expect to be make an impromptu donation to the Michele Mason Foundation (MMF). The MMF is proud to accept cash, money order, personal check, gifts, and sexual favors* as payment.

*only applicable with certain donors

Having said that, I do have some thoughts.

Highschool. What a crock of shit, lol. My Beaner right, she's stressing cause she has no homecoming date. HAH, I didn't go to any school dance besides a freshman "mixer", until my junior year. I actually had a date and dress for sophomore year, but alas, my date, being far less than perfect, basically more or less, for lack of better words, ditched me. However, I did end up going to two homecomings, sadies, and two proms my junior year, and those three my senior year, and all with different dates!! HA! God forbid I liked anyone at my own school. That would just be too easy. Too bad I hated everyone at my pay school. It's ok, in highschool there seemed to be so many male options, flavor of the week/month was easy to achieve.

Back to the original point. Homecoming. Who cares? Prom? Who cares even less? To me, even people that talk about, "I could have been prom king, I was runner up", reminiscing FINE, but anything else, just lame. To be honest, my attitude now AND in highschool was that, I just don't care enough to get these hundred or so kids in my grade to like me. And why do I care to? I like to think the best of me is still hiding somewhere up my sleeve anyway. I don't want highschool to be what I look back on as the best time of my life, and college either. I have a HUGE life ahead of me, family of my own, new friends, and a career. I don't want to constantly be thinking and looking back at the time I had in the places I acquired the skills to be in my current situation with. Follow?

It's like constantly looking ahead.

Next thought.

Whitney Houston. The Greatest Love of All. "Learning to love yourself" is what Whitney tells us is this greatest love of all in her power ballad, if you will. For the most part, I believe her. I think too many people are looking for someone else to complete them. I think too many people look for someone else to be what they want them to be, and fulfill what they want them to. However, you just can't trust people to be what you want them to be. You have to trust them to be who they are, cause sad as it is, peope don't change. And certainly if they're changing for you, ie. someone else, that's not gonna fly either. One needs to be whole on their own and love themselves for they are first, before someone else. I understand this is nothing new, but this is to the cognitive group that reads this blog. Most people I think never even care to get to the bottom of things, and I don't think they will ever truly be happy. Kind of makes me sad, but not really, cause as long as I get there, I'm good to go. Ha, Whitney is randomly insightful... didn't she also coin the phrase, "Crack is Whack"?? That puts her up next to the likes of F. Scott Fitzgerald, who said "Roaring 20s". I love that book, Great Gatsby.

The last weekened has been quite an ego trip. I've had 4 guys constantly calling me to hang out and take me out. Kind of cool. I guess, if I really wanted any of them. Last night I ditched them all to watch "Mean Girls" with my roommates. It's really sad... I think I just want to use them. I don't even really want to make out with anyone... now THAT is odd.

Next weekend I go home to see my family. They're so cool.

Today Lydia and I went to the ghetto and SHE passed out Jesus flyers. Mind you, I did not participate. I'm not sure how I feel about that kind of evangelization yet. I know I'm content where I'm at, and I don't generally like to engage in conversation with someone trying to convert me. I don't like to force things like that on other people either, because I know how I feel. Example.

I'm babysitting at Michele's, Hunter and Bailey, her children are currently running around with the dog (a bull mastiff, who looks like the BEAST from the Sandlot) screaming, lol. Door rings. Jehovah's Witnesseses. I said ok, hello, this isn't my house, you'll need to come back for the owners later. She said, no we'd like to talk to you too. Aw shit... This may be almost verbatim what I said.

"I'm really sorry, I know what you're doing, and I respect that, but I was raised Lutheran all my life, I went to private Lutheran school all my life, and I'm incredibly contect with the faith I have and the life I lead. Now I don't want to shut the door in your face, because then that entitles you to say you're prosecuted by people like me, so if you could just agree to disagree on this one, and walk away, I'd really appreciate that."

Lol... I tend to ramble apparently. Needless to say, she slowly backed away, like I said I was the devil or something.

Was I an ass for that?? OOH, better question, am I an ass for THIS.

Denise and I are at Best Buy, right? Chick at the counter, totally think she is just.. eclectic as fuck. She's got short black hair with blonde pieces in front. A nose ring, a lip ring, a tie as a belt, gauged ears, and funky make up. She did this to herself on purpose, ok? Well, Denise and I are jivin with her, and the manager walks behind her. He, while still walking at the speed of light, looks at Denise and me, and yells, "everything ok?? OK!". Note: the second ok came without waiting for a response. Denise starts laughing, and asks what that was all about. The chick behind the counter is like.. I don't know, he's just.... weird. Denise looks at me about to laugh anyway, and I added, "says the girl with the ring in her nose". LOL, we both start laughing our asses off, not noticing that the chick behind the counter is none too pleased. She's like, "THAT IS BALLSY, I can't handle the rest of this transaction". AND SHE REALLY GOES TO GET SOMEONE ELSE TO FINISH HELPING US. LOL... Denise is like, Michele, you're such a bitch, but I love it. I mean for real though, she's calling someone else weird, when her shit looks like a pin cushion, and she did THAT on purpose.

AND in conclusion... name me this movie.

"Hey my brother, can I get a copy of your "HEY SOUL" classics??"

"No my brother, you have to buy your own."

Lol, if you knew the movie, it's a lot cuter.

Michele
"Help control the pet population, have your pet spayed or nuetered."

2005-09-16T12:05:00.000-07:00

Friday.

No class.

However... since I went to bed late last night, I did not set my alarm, and therefore woke up at 11:30, feeling SO refreshed. Work started at 11 for me today. So, I did my best to not shower and get ready anyway. Walked in at 12. Fuck em.

Ok, so I'm bored. Lately, since I've started this blog, I feel a decreased urge to talk. Odd. I feel like this blog challenges me when I write in it, you know why? Because I don't know who is reading it.

In any case, just been randomly thinking about EVERYTHING lately. There's just so much to process sometimes. I wish my head could slow down. Ooh, my life stresses have been alleviated substantially without the presence of men however. I have really really loved indulging myself in new female friends, and me time in general. I've been missing a lot of that in the past two years with someone constantly attached to my hip. Speak of the devil, he just called.

RIGHT, there is No One I want to date at this point. Well, ok, no... nope. I'm not on the market. I'm single, but not looking. Unless you're something really really special, and like I said, not likely.

Yeah, I'm thinking I can wind this down now. I'm bored, but thinking about making some early dinner. I love it that I say things like "making" dinner, but in my case it really only means microwaving/reheating. Kind of like when I go to the library for finals week, and even if I have managed to deter studying to the point where I'm logged into online games, I still feel studious. After all, I AM AT the library.

You know I was paid 80 dollars once to write a 4 page paper for a student/athlete here in a class I've already taken with one book I'd already read. He's 3.5ed it. I apologized, I was looking for a 4.0.

Actually, I'm going to end this OFFICIALLY today with a list of all the foods I HATE.
Tomatoes, potatoes, onions, spinach, romaine lettuce, pears, apples, mushrooms, cheese, chili, baked beans, squash, zucchini, cooked carrots, peas, sweet pickles, any fish, sushi, meatloaf, stuffing, cherries, apricots, plums, kiwi, watermelon, lima beans, and I think that's about if for now. I don't like anything spicy either.

Me.

Is it wrong that I like to watch "People's Court"?
You know what IS definitely wrong though... we had to call the management company this morning to have them come in and take care of our "fly problem" on Monday. Therefore rendering my massacre yesterday morning as an exercise in futility.

4 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-09-15T06:17:00.000-07:00

One of Michele's number one rules in life.

I DO NOT cohabitate with bugs.

In general, and you better believe that if your ass is a bug... I will hunt you down like a dog and kill you before I move onto something else. I once saw a spider disappear behind my desk... oh hell no. I grabbed a light, and did not go back to the computer or sleep until it had been killed. You know those things crawl in your mouth when you sleep.

Anyway, this morning, there are like 7 flies in the kitchen. WHAT IS THAT ABOUT? Its not like we're dirty or have a huge cache of dirty dishes lying around. On the contrary, there are always handwashed dishes out drying, and everything else goes in the dishwasher. Naturally though, I'm pissed at the flies intrusion. All I want is two pieces of butter bread for breakfast, but the fuckers are relentless. Since this is truly my calling in life, I grab myself a magazine piled with some newspaper and I get to work. I admit lately I have been off my game, making a lot of misses, not a lot of hits in the war against the flies. However, this morning... I brought my A game. I killed all 7 flies. Only one quote comes to mind right now.

"I am all that is man" - Ramathorne

Minus the part about me being inferred a man. I even spotted what I thought was one of those real fat flies. You know the one whose slow flying tells you it has been living within your garbage can for at least a week. I knock her down, and come to find out.. it's a fly with another one piggy backed.

WHAT?

I don't even know what to say to that, and I can't even fathom a solid hypothesis as to why I think another fly was carrying another around on its back.

In any case, the only down side here, is I'm not too good at getting rid of the bodies. It just grosses me out a lot. Therefore, the casualties of this morning are proudly displayed on the counter, the ceiling, and the two corners nearest the kitchen entrance. The piggy backers actually got killed on the front door frame, therefore I was able to nudge them out the door.

Anyway, I was just recounting to myself how milk makes my stomach feel better from drinking the night before, and I was having issues thinking "happy thoughts" to put into my blog. As if in answer to my prayers, this fly thing happened.

Awesome. It's about 50 minutes to class.

Seacrest Out.

2005-09-13T11:57:00.000-07:00

I'm not exactly a blogger virgin, so don't get all excited thinking this is my first blog. I guess, technically it is my first blog on this blog site, so that's nice. :) In any case, generally I make blogs that are personal ranting and ravings. I realize as self sufficient as I can be, sometimes I really do need someone else to talk to. However, I'm so damn picky about who and I talk and open up to, because I realize there is a certain response I do need, and most people I know just aren't going to give me what I need. Therefore, I'll randomly let off steam via myspace blogging. Then, if it's real personal, I just leave it so only I can read it. What does all this have to do with this blog??

I've decided that this blog is more of a celebration of self. A reflection of myself in general, rather than a reflection of my problems in life.
Yes, that's it.

I think I'll still use the myspace one to vent and what not, but I think this one will be all about what makes me happy in life. What I like, what I don't, my opinions, and so on and so forth.

Feel free to stop reading at anytime. I mean shit... if I'd just read that this blog was gonna be the authors narcissitic outlet full of self ramblings... I dont know if I'd stick around either. Unless I really was into the person though. Not neccessarily close to the person, but respected their ideas and thoughts and who they were and wanted to get to know that more. So.. if you're still reading...

Thanks. :)

Oh, and the print on the left... my favorite Van Gogh painting, it's called "Night Cafe". I think I fell in love with it during Art History. Anyhow, my mom bought me a print of it she special ordered from NYC, and when I have a house... it's going in my kitchen, I think.